A Thousand Islands Adventure, Calamari Style
by Crysania
Summary: Rumplestiltskin and Belle decide to take a boat tour of the Thousand Islands. They take along Stan. It does not go well. (If you have not read any of the Calamari series, you may want to go back and read those first for this thing to make sense!)


"Are you sure this was a good idea?" Belle stares out to sea for a moment, hand held to her eyes. It's bright outside and she's watching, waiting, but the water is calm.

"He'll be fine." Rumplestiltskin wraps his arm around his wife. _His wife_. He can't say it's easy. It's never been easy, really. They still fight, their tempers high and their eyes flashing. Sometimes they still say things that hurt each other. But they're learning to take a deep breath, to step back, to reassess.

She's convinced him to go on this trip. _It'll be fun_ , she says, as she drags him to a place surrounded by _people_. He's not good with people. Never has been. He was either their scapegoat, kicked to the ground, or he was the evil sorcerer to be feared.

Here he is neither.

Here he's just another tourist, waiting to board their _boat_ (he tries hard not to think of Hook and his last encounters on a boat), wanting a glimpse of how the rich live their lives (he can tell them….he's richer than them all). The Thousand Islands, a small section of the St. Lawrence Seaway that separates New York from Canada. It has, apparently, been a popular destination for the rich and not always famous. In some ways he can see the allure. Hiding out on islands only accessible by boat. Or magic.

"Are you sure?" Belle repeats and he watches as she sucks her lower lip into her mouth, teeth delicately worrying it. He wants to find a private place and have his way with her as he knows she deserves. But he clamps down on his libido and just smirks.

"It's a lot of water." He waves a hand out at the sea. "I can't see how anything can go wrong."

Belle just gives him a look and he realizes what he's said.

If things can go wrong they _will_. Taking Stan on a vacation? Letting him loose in the waters of an unfamiliar place? Near _people_? "This is going to be an unmitigated disaster, isn't it?"

"Probably." He watches as the smiling woman standing just at the edge of the deck releases the rope and waves people forward. Shielding his eyes against the glare of the morning sun just off the stern of the bow, he reaches out an arm to escort Belle onto the boat. "But too late now."

She looks almost grim and the woman at the boat gives her an odd look.

"She's worried about being seasick," Rumplestiltskin says with a smirk at the woman. "First time on a boat, you see."

It's not, of course. But seasickness is as good an excuse as any. It's not like he could say _Oh her? She's worried about a magical talking octopus who might or might not wreak complete havoc on your boat. Don't worry…it's all under control._

Nothing is under control where Stan is concerned. But maybe, just maybe, he'll surprise them this time. He has a whole seaway to explore, creatures to interact with, the freedom to move as he hasn't in a long time. He hopes he'll spend all day frolicking in the sea and eventually make his way back to them. When it's safe. When there's no one around.

Belle insists on heading to the top of the boat. The damned thing is three stories high, a sort of monstrosity that allows viewing the whole area. He's never played tourist before, but this is for her. This is _her_ tour to see the world. She's always wanted to. And apparently that world involves a cramped boat full of annoying American tourists.

"Come on Rumple," she says as she reaches behind her and grabs his hand, squeezes it. He's thankful every day that he no longer needs his cane, that his ankle is straight and moves easily. This would have been a nightmare earlier. He supposes it's one thing he can thank Hook for. He hadn't been the Dark One for long, but the little bit of magic he possessed then he had used to heal Rumplestiltskin's ankle. Nefarious purpose aside, the bastard had done something he had never considered doing: fix it for good. It was his penance after all, what he deserved for being a coward, for abandoning his son, a reminder of all that he had lost through the years.

That reminder is gone now.

Belle tells him it's a new beginning for them, a _happy_ beginning. He's actually starting to believe her.

They ascend to the top of the boat and Belle claims a spot in the back, near the rail. It's wide open up there and most of the crowd sits in the middle. They're not interested in hanging over the rail like Belle is (his hands reach out to anchor her waist…can't have her falling over after all), pointing out everything they see.

The others sit, almost sedate, in their rows and listen as woman goes through her well-rehearsed discourse on the various islands. It's an interesting place, he'll grant them that much.

"Oh, Rumple!" Belle whispers and squeezes his arm. She's pointing at a small house. If one can even call it a house. It looks more like a cottage, with just a small bit of land in front of it and a tree jutting oddly out to the side. "Can you imagine?" He knows what she's thinking. _The peace and quiet, the books I could read, the view_ …

"Do you want one?" he asks as his eyes meet hers and for a moment, her jaw drops just a little bit. And then she smiles.

"Are you serious?"

"You can have anything." He waves a hand out across the ship, the sea, the islands. He'll give her anything. Gladly. Fall down on his knees and offer her pieces of the entire world to put together however she sees fit. She's taken him back. Despite everything. All his mistakes, all his heinous missteps and attempts to control a situation that was quickly spiraling out of control.

Belle just smiles, reaches out, squeezes his hand. They settle in to the tour. She watches the islands, the great houses, the tiny cottages that seem impossibly balanced on their equally tiny islands. He watches her, the bright eyes, the big smile, the little "oh" of surprise when the tour guide gives them some interesting tidbit of information ( _It may be the Thousand Islands, but there are actually over 1800 of them…_ ).

He barely notices the commotion on the other side of the boat. There are whispers at first, a few people rushing over. But then there's a little niggle in the back of his mind.

"What _is_ that?" someone is saying, leaning over the boat and pointing.

The tour guide continues on. "Ok I was just kidding everyone. There's nothing really there. Well, nothing you can see at least. We just went over that invisible line that separates the USA from Canada. Welcome to…"

"No really, something _is_ there!" Someone else is shouting. A few more people rush to the side of the boat. Then others following more reluctantly, curious but only mildly so.

Belle rolls her eyes. Rumplestiltskin smirks. He knows they're both thinking the same thing. _Tourists_ …

"I'm sure that's just one of our sturgeons," the tour guide says. But even she sounds strangely nervous. "We've seen some as long as fifteen feet here in the Seaway." There's a small hitch in her voice as she glances off to the side where everyone seems to have gathered.

"Is that a tentacle?" The speaker's voice sounds both awed and frightened at the same time.

It takes a moment for that to sink in.

"Oh Gods!" Belle shouts at the same time Rumplestiltskin shouts "Stan!"

And then they're both off and trying to make their way through the crowd.

"There are no octopuses in these waters," the tour guide says but even she doesn't sound convinced. "This is a freshwater seaway. I don't think they can survive here…"

"It's the Kraken!" one man screams and then everyone is shouting and rushing away from the side and Rumplestiltskin and Belle are left alone, watching, as Stan leverages his way up the side of the boat, four tentacles gripping hard as he pulls himself up and the others waving almost gaily in the air.

"Stan go back down!" Belle shouts but there's nothing she can do. He's fast, far faster than anyone would expect and soon he's managed to crawl all the way to the top and pull himself right over the railing as if it weren't even there.

"Rumplestiltskin!" he shouts.

The rest of the crowd screams in terror, huddling together on the opposite side of the boat. He's sure he sees one guy contemplating jumping overboard.

Truth be told, he's thinking about it too. Maybe if he leaps into the water he'll wake up from this nightmare.

"Stan, what are you doing here?" Belle hisses at the ridiculous creature.

"I don't like it down there! There are these huge scary creatures!" One of his tentacles goes flying and almost knocks one of the men off the boat. Only the others around him grabbing onto him, despite the goo that's dripping from the front of his shirt, keeps him on the boat.

"I think those are sturgeons," Belle points out, glancing at the tour guide. The woman is frozen to her spot, eyes wide, and she just nods once. She can't stop staring at Stan. Like everyone else. He supposes it's not every day one sees a giant talking octopus.

"Stan," Rumplestiltskin says, moving closer to the ridiculous creature. The octopus is almost shaking, his body quivering in terror. "None of them mean you harm…"

"Don't make me go back there!" He throws himself across the deck of the boat, tentacles flying, tourists rushing to get even further away. Rumplestiltskin tries to back away, throws his hands up, but it doesn't matter. He knows what's coming. It's not like he hasn't lived with the octopus for damned _years_ at this point. "I don't want to go back there!" are the last words he hears before Stan has wrapped himself tightly around him, tentacles squeezing as he clings to him in his fear.

 _I knew this was a bad idea…_

Just why he thought leaving Gideon behind and taking _Stan_ on this trip was a good idea was beyond him. The worst the baby would have done was cry uncontrollably.

But this…

He hears a voice that sounds like Belle's and a moment later he's released. Dripping in goo and looking completely worse for the wear, but he can breathe at least.

"Don't make me go back there!" Stan is still howling.

"We won't!" Belle is trying to calm him down but he hears a note of impatience even in _her_ voice.

Stan starts to rush forward again and suddenly one of them men is there, stepping forward. He holds a pistol, small but deadly, and it's aimed at Stan. Rumplestiltskin groans. "Bloody Americans and their bloody guns," he mutters.

The crowd around them gasps and he's about to wave a hand, make the gun disappear when Belle throws herself in front of Stan. "Don't even think it." Her voice is strangely firm and Rumplestiltskin, still standing somewhat off to the side, is impressed. He loves when she stands up for what she believes in. Loved even when it meant horrible things for him. He wasn't lying when he once told Prince Charming that she was his flicker of light. She was then, she still is. She always will be.

"I don't think he means any harm," one of the women in the crowd speaks up, her voice quiet, a little timid.

"He doesn't," Belle says and he watches her relax. Just a hair though. The man with the gun is still holding it, still aimed at the pair of them.

"I don't want to hurt anyone!" Stan screams and Rumplestiltskin is thankful there's nothing for his voice to bounce off of.

"See?" the woman says. The man doesn't move and Rumplestiltskin realizes he's white as a sheet. Watching the man carefully, he inches closer to Belle.

"I'm going to have to wipe their memories, aren't I?" he whispers to her.

She nods and then sighs heavily. "Can we just go home?"

"Home!" Stan shouts, tentacles waving. With a flick of his wrist, Belle and Stan are gone, disappearing as if they'd never been there.

The crowd gasps. Cries of _How?_ _What?_ and one shout of _I knew transporters were real!_ assail his ears.

He watches them all for a moment and shakes his head. Then with another push of his magic, a wave flows over them and their faces all go blank. By the time their heads clear of the weird bit of fuzziness they're going to experience, Rumplestiltskin is gone.

"So as I was saying," the tour guide continues and then blinks quickly. _Wasn't there a…nah…that would be insane…this is a freshwater seaway._ "There's really nothing to see out there. We just crossed the invisible barrier between the USA and Canada. Welcome to Canada!"

* * *

He finds Belle standing over Gideon's crib. Granny, who they'd ask to watch him while they took a few days away, had departed as soon as they came home. She was a good woman, stepping in to take care of Gideon so he could show Belle a little bit of the world they had come to inhabit.

She looks up when he enters and offers him a somewhat sheepish grin. "Next time we take Gideon?"

He nods, reaching down and lightly touching his son's cheek. "Indeed." He glances up at Belle, smiles at her. She reaches out a hand to squeeze his. "And we never _ever_ bring Stan along again."

"Agreed," she responds with. The shared laughter feels good, he realizes. His family is figuring things out, healing from far too many years of strife.

"Where is he anyway?" he finally asks.

She shakes her head. "He's gone off to pout in his tank."

"Best place for him."

"Indeed." She echoes his earlier response and offers him a bit of a smirk.

"Dinner then?"

"Gods, yes," and she sounds almost relieved at the suggestion. "Let's order out and stay in. I'm not up for seeing anyone tonight after that mess."

He reaches out an arm to wrap around her and together they leave Gideon to his rest. Dinner first and then maybe a bit of drinking to oblivion to forget that afternoon's little adventure. Yes, that's _just_ what the doctor ordered.


End file.
